1342
4.ix.23
4.248
why can’t everyone
just be normal again?
thinking of
Adorno’s ‘F-scale’
the way it was when – you remember
we had a big wall to keep them out
they loved our product too
they had to
you’d get out with an axe in the morning
and breathe that clear fresh air
before women played football
before they even wanted to vote
and those ruffians! little rascals
boys would be boys
men were men then
your head wasn’t full of ideas
before there was tax, or government
before there were any laws
low calibre fire
before all of this stupid education
and where has it got us?
they just won’t stop asking questions
different languages too
Greek and even worse
some are no better than monkeys
but they let them in anyway
and where will it end?
you can see what’s coming
why can’t everyone just be normal again?
remember how it was
with the flag God gave us
and God Save the Queen
a church was a respectable thing
we were just quietly getting on with
minding our own business
before silly science
it was every disease for itself
good honest toil in a pit
ten to a bed if there was a hospital
but things were fair
you had a fair go
you could have your way then
and be wicked
if there was a war you would
or knit at home, bake biscuits
it was we were the ones who were calling the names
and we knew them all by heart
who to kick and hobnails too, and toecaps
none of your backchat
remember before nanny state, all this RBT?
you could drink till it came out your ears
seat belts?
might as well live in a cot
these days
flowers want to get married to bees
it’s unnatural!
even the trees stand up for themselves
and some take a leaf from their book
they chain themselves
those uppity workers and their eight hour day!
the wages will send things out of control
heads down, bums up and at it
that’s the way we did things when
things got done back then
there was none of this correct thing
nothing was political
it wasn’t political at all
I can’t tell you how lovely it was
come home to your slippers and pipe by the fire
and home cooked too
there wasn’t any history either
there was just the way things were
was always
now what do we have to put up with?
slaves who think too much about freedom
what’s liberty anyway?
it’s so much work looking after them
it’s really a burden
why can’t they just be normal like us
after all, we’ve set them an example
but nothing’s ever enough for them
you can see the writing on the wall
and this gay thing
it’s got into just about every species
it’s out in the paddock if you’ll take a look
who gave them these ideas?
I think it all started with daylight savings
(I never opened an account myself
it would only encourage them)
and these idiots say the world’s getting warmer
they should go and take a cold bath
I stick my head in the fridge now and then
anyway it was cold this morning
they want a windmill
and I’m going to fight it
you’re coming with me too
my mum always said ‘don’t bite’
and she was onto something
it’s every time someone stands up
says ‘here I am’
gets you good and angry
doesn’t it?
all this fancy, new fangled
and they stand in the way of progress too
remember when you could thump the little shits
and feel up their tits
we had some decency then, we did
everyone knew what was what
and if not
you had an uncle who was a cop
nobody got cancelled then
nobody was woke
in fact hardly anyone was awake at all
it was merrily merrily then we sang
and life was but a dream
rant on, little hearts, rant on
it’s all such fun to remember
why can’t they just believe in the Bible?
it was good enough for all those disciples
it got us through the Crusades
we’ll need another Inquisition
I’m turning the other cheek
can’t they just accept
there’s an old bloke upstairs
in charge of the sky
and he’s always been calling the shots?
whenever I get into this conversation
I just ask –
‘is that all you’ve got’
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