Sunday, 3 September 2023

#1342 - why can’t everyone just be normal again?


 


1342

4.ix.23

4.248

why can’t everyone just be normal again?

thinking of Adorno’s ‘F-scale’

 

the way it was when – you remember

 

we had a big wall to keep them out

they loved our product too

they had to

 

you’d get out with an axe in the morning

and breathe that clear fresh air

 

before women played football

before they even wanted to vote

 

and those ruffians! little rascals

 

boys would be boys

men were men then

 

your head wasn’t full of ideas

 

before there was tax, or government

before there were any laws

 

low calibre fire

before all of this stupid education

and where has it got us?

 

they just won’t stop asking questions

different languages too

Greek and even worse

 

some are no better than monkeys

but they let them in anyway

 

and where will it end?

you can see what’s coming

 

why can’t everyone just be normal again?

 

remember how it was

with the flag God gave us

and God Save the Queen

 

a church was a respectable thing

 

we were just quietly getting on with

minding our own business

 

before silly science

it was every disease for itself

 

good honest toil in a pit

ten to a bed if there was a hospital

 

but things were fair

you had a fair go

 

you could have your way then

and be wicked

 

if there was a war you would

or knit at home, bake biscuits

 

it was we were the ones who were calling the names

and we knew them all by heart

who to kick and hobnails too, and toecaps

 

none of your backchat

 

remember before nanny state, all this RBT?

 

you could drink till it came out your ears

 

seat belts?

might as well live in a cot

 

these days

flowers want to get married to bees

it’s unnatural!

 

even the trees stand up for themselves

and some take a leaf from their book

 

they chain themselves

 

those uppity workers and their eight hour day!

the wages will send things out of control

 

heads down, bums up and at it

that’s the way we did things when

things got done back then

 

there was none of this correct thing

nothing was political

it wasn’t political at all

 

I can’t tell you how lovely it was

come home to your slippers and pipe by the fire

and home cooked too

 

there wasn’t any history either

there was just the way things were

was always

 

now what do we have to put up with?

 

slaves who think too much about freedom

what’s liberty anyway?

it’s so much work looking after them

 

it’s really a burden

 

why can’t they just be normal like us

after all, we’ve set them an example

 

but nothing’s ever enough for them

 

you can see the writing on the wall

 

and this gay thing

it’s got into just about every species

it’s out in the paddock if you’ll take a look

 

who gave them these ideas?

 

I think it all started with daylight savings

(I never opened an account myself

it would only encourage them)

 

and these idiots say the world’s getting warmer

they should go and take a cold bath

 

I stick my head in the fridge now and then

anyway it was cold this morning

 

they want a windmill

and I’m going to fight it

you’re coming with me too

 

my mum always said ‘don’t bite’

and she was onto something

 

it’s every time someone stands up

says ‘here I am’

 

gets you good and angry

doesn’t it?

 

all this fancy, new fangled

and they stand in the way of progress too

 

remember when you could thump the little shits

and feel up their tits

 

we had some decency then, we did

everyone knew what was what

and if not

you had an uncle who was a cop

 

nobody got cancelled then

nobody was woke

 

in fact hardly anyone was awake at all

it was merrily merrily then we sang

and life was but a dream

 

rant on, little hearts, rant on

 

it’s all such fun to remember

 

why can’t they just believe in the Bible?

it was good enough for all those disciples

it got us through the Crusades

 

we’ll need another Inquisition

 

I’m turning the other cheek

 

can’t they just accept

there’s an old bloke upstairs

in charge of the sky

and he’s always been calling the shots?

 

whenever I get into this conversation

I just ask –  

‘is that all you’ve got’


 





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