#1231 - I don't think so - the extrication

 

1231

16.v.23

4.136

I DON’T THINK SO!

the extrication

a poem about consent

 

the poet puts words in her mouth

 

 

one would like to have been asked for a start

but saying that

it’s just me on the back foot

and that is a kind of collusion

 

what I’m saying is

I don’t think so

no, no high rising tone

it’s

I DO NOT THINK SO

I have my own mind

on this and all things

 

good news?

a miracle?

so you say

maybe try next door

they could be buying

 

I say no

I am I

and that’s my decision

 

that by the way was an attempt at conversation

a concept with which you might be unfamiliar

call it a ‘turn’ if you like

 

‘but it’s not what you think’, this angel says

and what a tangled explanation!

all about things predicted

claimed to be unprecedented

worlds without end and worlds to come

when actually

I’ve heard pretty well all of the bits and pieces

of this story somewhere before

fishy

 

I guess you’d like me to think, on that basis,

that this always had to happen

 

so let me be clear here –

there’s no way

it’s just not on

no means no

don’t you get it?

 

but fate, but destiny

the good of the world?

angels don’t give up so easy

 

all of this pleading has been tried before

but I won’t be playing along

 

have you ever felt cornered?

like someone was making your mind up for you?

no I don’t suppose

 

the ones who had their own opinion

you’ve seen them burn as they fall

 

still I would have preferred

something more democratic

 

there might have been

joint communiqué – ‘MARS MEETS VENUS HALFWAY’

… but that time is long gone

 

I don’t get it with the virgin obsession

and the ambiguity

whose word is it anyway?

 

‘no skin off my nose’

is easy for an angel to say

 

glory and light and all eternal?

go for the warm inner glow?

but I can see right through you –

that’s the thing with diaphanous

 

yes, the old arrangements may have been imperfect

and no, that wasn’t a yes – so tricky!

it doesn’t matter what you think

 

oh so you were trying to make just that point?

 

one begins to think everything sacred’s like this

 

I’m not agreeing to any of it

not the big picture, not the fine print

 

I don’t want to be an icon

don’t want to heal all sorts

dote on

be half worshipped

scold forever

be taken for granted

hear the excuses

 

not my circus

 

no need to adore

or do me in oils

I’d like to have a few different expressions

 

I will be my own self and decide

 

yes, they all want you to think it’s a miracle

 

what’s involved here?

speak clear please to make your announcement

in the interests of full disclosure

 

by the way

the androgynous dress up’s not working for me

won’t get past me like that

 

you’d like to know why

well, it might surprise you to know

that I don’t need a reason

 

oh, my apologies (not)

I see now that you weren’t after my opinion at all

 

just how dim do you think I am?

 

turns out it was something like fiat, command

 

dusty old man

with beard full of threats

sends angel disguised for a ghost

 

could say that, couldn’t I?

but it just gets the wrath up

and why provoke them? 

 

statues and shrines

two thousand years plus prayers

I don’t care for any of it

and none of it makes a thing good or right

 

oh yes okay

you can say this kind of thing happens all the time

in the bedroom, in the kitchen

stables, just along the way

but

today we are calling it out

 

 

.

revised shortened version 21.v.23

the extrication

a poem about consent

a non-conversation with the archangel Gabriel

or

the poet puts words in her mouth

 

one would like to have been asked

that’s just for a start

but even saying that

it’s just me on the back foot

back-footed is a kind of collusion

 

what I’m telling you is

NO

my decision’s final

 

haven’t you ever felt cornered, angel?

like someone was making your mind up for you?

no I don’t suppose…

the ones who had their own opinion

you’ve seen them burn as they fall

 

I don’t get it with the virgin obsession

‘no skin off my nose’

is easy for an angel to say

 

but truth and light and all eternal?

go for the warm inner glow?

‘good news’, you call it

 

I can see right through you –

that’s the thing with diaphanous

 

you don’t say much, do you?

just hail – rejoice and be glad

I’m supposed to give you the Mona Lisa nod…

well, I’ve seen what gestation can do

…and some of us get tired of being chosen

 

I don’t want to be an icon

don’t want to heal all sorts

dote on, be half worshipped

scold forever

be taken for granted

hear the excuses

 

it’s not my circus

 

no need to adore or do me in oils

and by the way, can you let those painters know

I’d like to have a few more facial expressions

 

you call it miracle

I foresee drudge

I will be my own self and decide

 

and by the way

the androgynous dress up’s not working for me

you won’t get past me like that

 

… the proxy thing with my husband’s, well…

tricky, to say the least

 

one begins to think everything sacred’s like this –

a gaslit dodgy deal

they’re going to call this ‘coercive control’

 

but I do see now that you were never really after my opinion

it was always just wear me down till I comply?

 

just how weak do you think I am?

 

looks to me like

dusty old man

with beard full of threats

sends angel disguised for a ghost

 

could say that, couldn’t I?

but it would just get the wrath up

why provoke them?  why bother at all?

 

oh yes, okay (that wasn’t a YES)…

you can say this kind of thing happens all the time

in the bedroom, in the kitchen

in the stables, just along the way

it is indeed anybody’s business

and it goes back further than anyone can remember

but here’s the difference –

today we are calling it out!