Monday, 19 July 2021

#565 - escape room (when I was a victim)

 



20.vii.21

565

2.200

escape room

or

when I was a victim

 

there was that one false step

and falling all day

all stars extinguished

 

that was what they gave

 

you can’t know how it is

or even imagine

 

full sun

moon dark

who knew?

 

blame childhood, incapacity

curses passed down

what was I missing?

 

became the grudge

we fought for this, you know

 

sensations you’d vote in!

scratch my back with an ostrakon

and I’ll … no, you can’t make me

 

it’s my solemn sacred right

 

you could punch me then

I wouldn’t feel a thing

 

could hardly feed

could hardly breathe

pestilences, poxy doxa

 

when I was a victim

it wasn’t that I could do no wrong

but it was not my fault

because

you wouldn’t understand

 

was done to

 

worlds were done to me

 

light tricked away

 

ironies of the situation!

 

couldn’t share my hair shirt

           pariah pale out

 

who’ll lie on this bed of nails with me?

who’ll take a stretch on my rack?

 

and it was you because I know

               old friend

   truth comes

here and so to blame

 

            …bottle

and smoke myself in out

climb into a bottle of blame

 

laughter? make it bitter

 

when I was a victim

and you can’t be

 

this pogrom had my name on it

it’s still my immortality

 

a magnet of sorrows

righteous till now

I was chosen for this

 

who says

misery’s company?

 

when victim

I couldn’t this

couldn’t that

I couldn’t be expected

 

that was how I discovered the plot

all the gods against

skin flayed

inside out head

 

drink me and eat me

what else?

I only took a little fire  

 

now will I stand

thin air, rare heights

still owed

and now will I erupt?

 

watch out for a victim

they’re not responsible

takes one to

 

doesn’t matter what you say

I know I know

 

though we have yet to establish a motive

blame nearest dearest

blame you on the day

send in a coroner now

 

no star shone in the dream dark

you’d recognize the signs

if so

 

they haven’t yet named

bones that I broke

yes, it was all about me

 

no one says

‘good of you to listen’

 

oh let these people free

 

and when I woke up

I was still here

and when I woke up

I was gone

 

 

 


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