#79 - for everyone after all

19.3.20

79

for everyone after all

after Holub

thinking of Clark Gormley

everyone I ever met

made me someone else

other than I’d been

better and worse

kind of a marriage with

moment to moment

a marriage with everyone

and might have gone this way

and might have gone that

vast estates under my microscope

every bet I hedged till here I am

or on my way still

gods cursed and all the bolts hurled back

always in trouble

just being myself

between the griefs, my distance

everywhere I went has to have been my home

every house I dreamt where when I am growing up

in every breeze shot through

each bliss was beaten into me

in each tree’s reach

I must have been the bird

the empire in my all extent

and out the window everyone

all the creatures I’ve eaten, crops

and here to save our lives

all the harms I did

joys brought

darling thoughts

all the suns have lit my way

words intended, accidental

in all the soaring, operatic

each shame in which love deepened

truth of the went-by world

all earned

everyone I ever knew

names that placed

the trill and guess again

all these things around and gone

no choice

I call my very own